The real deal Jungle Run!

Many years ago, CITV's Jungle Run banished my idea of piracy as a future career prospect and planted the idea of becoming an explorer in my impressionable mind. For years I watched dweeby kids getting trapped in tunnels and monkey bellies. I witnessed fools blindly crawling passed obvious and precious silver monkeys. I even saw them fail to complete a four-piece puzzle even with the help of the ruby monkey. I watched on, always thinking it should be me combating those mischievous monkeys Sid an Elvis. Well last week I had a little taste of what it might have been like, except we were running through an actual jungle rather than a studio, and there was no Michael Underwood annoyingly pointing out the obvious fact that I don't have much time left, so I think I win on both fronts.

It was all part of the orientation week for the new Form 1 students who have joined us for this year. It was a week that was designed to bring the boys closer together as they had to overcome various challenges like the obstacle course and me and Hugo's spaghetti bolognese. They tried so hard to be polite, but telling me it was delicious after I watched them eat it holding their nose doesn't really work (I'd like to point out it was actually quite tasty, they just can't hack the herbs). 

But the main event was on the weekend. Saturday kicked off with your classic sports day games- sack races, giant slipper races, and eating bananas from a string with no hands. After a brief rest, it was straight down to the jungle obstacle course. This compromised crawling through mud/buffalo turd, climbing across bamboo hovering above mud, slipping through spider webs also placed above pools of mud, then lifting people over a bar from one patch of mud to another. It was quite muddy. It concluded with a challenging jungle trek to the top of the hill, than a triumphant descent back to the river to wash off. It was all very tiring, but the fun was nowhere near over yet. After watching a horror film the previous night, the boys (who all firmly believe in ghosts) had to complete a night walk through the jungle with only a candle lit path to aid them. Some of the boys came armed with their rosaries. Me and Hugo came armed with flour and tomato sauce, the vital ingredients for the jungle vampire look. We found our spots (trying to stay clear of giant ant nests), tucked in behind some shrubs and scared little children for the next three hours. Boys were literally jumping and falling in pure fear. One boy was so scared we came back to attack with me a stick. It was simply hilarious. Personally I couldn't think of a better way to give the new students a warmer welcome.    

Cooking spag bowl for all the students. Feedback wasn't great- "it tastes like medicine". 

Me, my awkward crouch and a couple of cute kids at the "tele-match competition".

Cheeky bit of ballroom. Posture needs some work.

Eating banana off a string no hands. I'm bringing this one home!

Muddy and having a ball!

Me, Hugo and our boy Charles

About to boss the spider web.

Looking like a cool kid nibbling on my rambutan fruit seed.

My 2nd favourite picture ever.

My favourite picture ever.

Crawling through mud/buffalo turd. This is just before our camera man decided to kick it all into my face.

Me defining triumph.

The classic Jungle Run dash to the next task.

Kid sloth.

Spider web come at me bro!

Team building is my favourite :)

Absolutely crushing the shoulders of helpless muddy Malaysians.

Best of Friends! 3-2-1- Youuuuuu SUCK!

Come on in, the water's lovely! Washing off in the nice, clean river, home to many a buffalo turd.

A triumphant walk home from the top of the hill after a tiring jungle trek.

Flour and tomato sauce on my face, all set to scare little children in the deep dark jungle..

Christmas, New Year, and the in between bit. Oh and the bit just after.

Christmas Day
Christmas was a difficult time for us all. Such a lack of potato was always going to hit us hard (we also missed our family and friends, but that's just a side note). However, us Sabah boys are troopers, and we made it through those dark days all the way to the sunny side of the beach on Christmas day! We kicked off with some beach side nom- your classic Christmas Day meal of Black sauce fish, sweet and sour pork, black pepper beef, buttered prawns and a whole lot of rice. This was followed by some frisbee in the sea (team GB here I come) and a cracking game of beach football with some locals. So no turkey, but I can hardly complain.

Christmas Day nom. Not a roastie in sight...

Christmas Day on Tajung Aru Beach

Christmas Day with some generous Filipinos who presented us with some Skol beer.  

The in between bit
The beach theme continued on the 28th when we travelled over to the Outward Bound Centre to meet with our fellow Project Trust volunteer Jenny and her mentor, El. They took us out to Dinawan Island which lies 4km from their centre. Kayaking was our chosen mode of transport and I was buzzing to relive my scouting days. However, in the Scouts you get to kayak across beautifully calm lakes and large ponds, not a wave in sight. The sea, of course, was a different ball game, and when your kayak is lopsided with all the weight in the back, it becomes a painful struggle against nature's bathtub. Just keeping your kayak straight for any amount of time was a triumph. The more the waves turned me the more I began to furiously shout at my boat like it was her fault, as if it might sense my fury and straighten up for fear of punishment. It didn't. But eventually we made it to the island, my anger faded, and I was able to make up with my kayak (even though it didn't say sorry) and begin to enjoy the beauty that surrounded me. Sunset in the lagoon was particularly spectacular, and it was then when I spotted the great bird Yowie that is the hornbill. Everyone doubted me, they thought it was a mere crow of some kind, but I knew. It was a great moment. For the rest of the evening we simply enjoyed each other's company, ate some chocolate and watched the sun go down. When night fell, it was trunks off and in the sea for me and Jay until we finally got too cold, a phenomenon we haven't experienced for some time. It wasn't the best night's sleep I've had with Jason screaming like a girl after a crab crawled over him (he insists it was a rat), and we had to rise at 5 in the morning for a grueling journey back to the mainland on our kayaks. But it was great fun, and lovely to finally get out to one of the many islands that decorate Sabah's shores.

Kayaking across the choppy seas. 

Dinawan Island, fresh off the kayak.

Me looking like Gandalf/Jason Mraz

Dinawan Island round the other side. 

Lads collecting firewood from the lagoon before sundown.

My proudest moment- the day I spied a live, wild Yowie. I know I've got a picture of one of these already but this was the real deal- Number 91, HORNBILL.

Sunset merged with the finest cloud one will ever see.

Sunrise, a boat and an island.

New Years
New Years was to be celebrated like any other Sabahan gathering- plenty of food, plenty of drink and plenty of karaoke, but there were some extra twists in the tale to spice up the night. We kicked off the night at Brother Thomas' house. We met his family, talked for a bit, and went on a quick tour of his home. Little did I know what delights I would find upstairs. As soon as I peered my head round the door, the first thing I saw was a cooking device filled with glorious, crispy, golden roast potatoes spinning round and round. My eyes have surely never been so wide. I almost exploded with delight. When they were finally ready, a white swarm surrounded the bowl as the locals observed four white boys devour potato like we'd been starved for months. We then went party hopping- we travelled to Fanny's where the karaoke was pumping. We bossed the classics- kicked off with Hey Jude, then cooked up a storm with some of Robbie William's finest ballads, She's the One and Angels. Once our deed was done, it was back to Brother Thomas' for the midnight countdown (and a few more roast potatoes). It was then that we found out the Sabahan New Years tradition. It times gone by, when the river was clean, everyone would be jumping in and essentially getting as wet as possible. The tradition is very much the same, except the river is a bit of a health hazard unfortunately. The substitute was a giant paddling pool coupled with a fine collection of water guns. We decided to dive into the neighbour's paddling pool without considering the fact that we knew no one in our company. We chose to ignore this and splashed them all regardless. Good fun was had by all.

She's the one- Robbie Williams. Text book karaoke material and most certainly a passionate closing of the eyes kind of song. 

Our New Year crew!

Having a ball on New Years- post Roastie, pre paddling pool.

A bit of rough and tumble in a paddling pool never hurt anyone! ( I did hit a small child in the face while rising from the water but that's a minor blip)

Oh and the bit just after
As if we hadn't had quite enough of the beach, we popped down into Kota Kinabalu last weekend and got a speedboat out to Mamutik Island, slept the night, and went to Manukan Island the next day. We did some snorkling, clambered on some rocks, confronted some lizards, played some football with the locals, did some jungle trekking, played some frisbee and generally had a swell time!

Some serious rock clambering on Mamutik Island

My ultimate Steve Irwin moment with a monitor lizard. Didn't quite go for the classic face to face  but then again I'm not a crazy Australian.

Cam and Nam- Tuk tuks and temples to bikes and beaches.

The majority of my December was spent in Cambodia and Vietnam with the rest of the teaching volunteers from Malaysia, jumping from place to place, having a nice holiday from work back in Sabah (although describing it as work seems odd because I'm not sure you're supposed to enjoy work quite as much as this, but there you go). Tuk Tuks and temples actually sums up Cambodia pretty nicely for me. Unfortunately I have no decent pictures of me on a tuk tuk, mainly because I was sticking my head out the edge and panting like an excited dog the majority of the time, but I can tell you they are a lot of fun. Our journey starts in the capital city Phnom Penh, where we were able to meet up with two other Project Trust volunteers who could show us around and give us advice on where to stay. Many hours were spent at the rooftop bar in the Mad Monkey Guesthouse, playing pool and having free shots (it's up there as one of my favourite places in the world for sure), but more hours were spent being good little tourists, lapping up the cultural and religious history and being ripped off for guide books and rubbish musical instruments (actually that bit was just me). Culture in Cambodia came in the form of temples. Many many temples. I really enjoyed it but there's only so much you can pretend to be utterly fascinated in all the facts and the background, so inevitably sophistication was swiftly abandoned and Temple hide and seek ensued, followed by a live game of Temple Run. Angkor Wat was particularly spectacular I have to admit. We arrived there at sunrise to get some striking photos of the sun coming up directly behind it, but of course we were stuck behind probably the tallest man in Cambodia at that moment in time, so our perfect picture taking was thwarted somewhat. We also had to pretend like we couldn't see the scaffolding at the entrance, not the finest aspect of the 7th wonder of the world. But it was certainly incredible and I'm glad I can say I've done it.
We also had the opportunity to visit the Cambodian volunteer's project in an orphanage. In the 2 hours I was there, I managed to hit an 8 year old, blind, deaf, HIV positive orphan in the back of the head with a football. Not sure how that could be any worse really. Other than that it was a great day playing with the kids. I found it remarkable that these children who are all orphans and all HIV positive could be running around, playing, laughing, looking seemingly happy. It certainly made any problems or difficulties in my life seem incredibly insignificant, and that I have no reason not to be smiling all day long if those children were able to be so happy despite their situation.
Unfortunately, genocide plays a prominent role in Cambodia's recent history, so to in-keep with our good little tourist approach, learning about the atrocities of the Khmer Rouge Regime of the 1970s was also on our agenda. We started at the museum site, S21, once a school, but was turned into a prison where thousands of innocent Cambodian civilians were tortured and killed. As you walk through it, there are hundreds of pictures on the wall of the people who were brutally murdered, staring at you from all angles. As if this did not trouble me enough, our trip to the Killing fields had me close to tears. There were pits wherever you turned that were once the graves of hundreds of Cambodians, and if you looked closely enough you could still see the occasional tooth or fragment of bone lying in the dust. It was one of the most appalling sights I've seen, a deeply moving experience.
I've probably given off the wrong impression with my description of Cambodia so far- do bare in mind that these were all day times activities and that night time was a completely different ball game, but I wouldn't describe it as blog material. All you need to know is that we had lots of fun.

Me, Helena, Ellie and Jay's minuscule pony tail. Oh and an ancient temple! 

You're never beating these guys at tug of war (despite the fact some of them lack heads).

Number 47- a bat of some sort. This temple was home to many a bat. After taking the picture with flash I ran for fear of the bats waking and coming after me. Looks like only one of them made the effort, and even that was quite tame.

A giant root came loose but it's okay because Josh managed to catch it and push it to safety.

At the orphanage. When I wasn't hitting helpless children with footballs, I was a climbing frame.

Prime spot for live Temple Running.

Angkor Wat- one of the 7 wonders of the world. Worth getting up at 5 in the morning for, sunrise was spectacular. This is one of the few pictures I got where the massive bald guy at the front decided to crouch down. Honestly, some people. 

Hugo having fun inside Angkor Wat.

Oh how me and that temple had some laughs!

This temple was the setting for Lara Croft's Tomb Raider. I've never seen it but I'll be gutted for that tree if it didn't get a feature. The kid deserves it, outstanding growth.

Bit of a sinister picture. These are the killing fields in Cambodia. Every pit in the ground was a ditch filled with hundreds of dead bodies, murdered on the edge and thrown in during the Khmer Rouge rule from 1975-79. The remnants of bone can still be found in the ground. 

A lake on the sight of the Killing Fields. There are hundreds of bodies still in the water that have been left in peace.

Onto Vietnam, a place I've wanted to visit for quite some time. We started on Nam's biggest island in the South, Phu Quoc (pronounce it as you will). Me and Jason had been plotting to rent out some motorbikes in Cambodia, but we thought we'd seize our chance on the island so we could see as much of it as we could. Without question it was one of my favourite days of my year so far. It was an incredible way to see the island, and the bikes were great fun. We went along the coast, crossed bridges you wouldn't be comfortable walking across for fear of it breaking, stopped and clambered on some rocks, saw a snake on the road, got lost and enjoyed the scenery. There were minor mishaps (i.e me falling off on more than one occasion), but it all added to the experience. We were on our bikes all day and didn't get to enjoy the beautiful beaches, so we made the most of that the next day. In the evening we tried some sunset fishing on a boat, followed by night squid fishing when the sun finally disappeared (I've decided that sounds nicer than it is, I'm sure it's great fun if you catch something, but fishing is not my strong point).
Next stop was Ho Chi Minh City, and my historian antennae were twitching like crazy! Once again, the facts and pictures in the museum did not make pleasant viewing, however our trip to the Chu Chi Tunnels was incredible. We had the chance to crawl down into the Vietcong tunnels and to witness the various traps the Vietcong used in warfare. I remember learning all about it in class back in Finchley, but to see it up close like that was a remarkable experience. The entrances to the tunnels were made bigger for big boned Westerners like myself to get into, but they used to be just 30cm by 40cm in size. It's impossible to imagine anyone living in such conditions, let alone while there's a war going on above your head. We even had the chance to shoot a semi machine gun, so I can officially say that I've shot a gun in Nam which I'm pretty happy about.
We then travelled up to Dalat, or "little Paris" as it is also known. For the first time in 4 months, it was jumper weather! We were up in the mountains so the temperature dropped to a comparatively freezing 20 C. We visited a couple of beautiful waterfalls, went on something like a rollercoaster, and visited a seriously Crazy house, designed specifically to be crazy. It's essentially a house that breaks every Health and Safety regulation in the book, but that was the fun of it, and when Nick Platypus Brown ran into a pond we knew visiting there was the best thing we'd ever done.
After Dalat, we finished in Nha Trang, Asia's answer to Magaluf. Except it wasn't that at all. There were a few bars yes, and a substantial amount of white people, but it didn't quite carry the same stench of chunder that Magaluf had, and it's beaches are far too nice to be considered in quite the same way. Even the "Booze Cruise" we went on was far too beautiful- we went snorkling and were jumping into the sea surrounded by beautiful mountains and drinking cocktails while floating on rings. But I loved Nha Trang just because it was lovely to just have some time to relax for our last few days and enjoy the beach and watch the sun go down.
All in all, it was an incredible holiday, spent with a great crowd, and has confirmed the fact that whatever happens in the future, I'll be returning to this part of the world to do it all again and more.  

The beautiful beach on Phu Quoc, Vietnam's biggest island.  

I astound even myself with some of my camera work. Well done me!

Lads and their motorbikes on Phu Quoc island. A beautiful National Park on one side, the sea on the other.  Easily the most fun way to get around, until you fall off. Pros and cons.

Out on our boat ride to do some sunset fishing and night squid fishing. I think it would have been really fun if I had caught something, but being spontaneously good at fishing unfortunately doesn't happen. 

Even if I'm no good at fishing, I'm really good at enjoying the sunset.

Me pretending I actually caught something. It was as close as I was ever going to get.

One of my favourite parts of Vietnam. This is me in the Cu Chi tunnels; since the Americans decided to destroy every tree standing, the Vietcong decided to go underground and built this quite unbelievable tunnel system that stretched for miles and miles.

Shooting an M25 like a boss.

This could have been the first picture where I decided to produce a smile, only to be ruined by these chumps. This is the gang at the Vietnam War Museum, Ho Chi Minh City.

All the gang by the Elephant Waterfall in Da Lat, also known as "little Paris". I bet Paris doesn't have a waterfall like that! Dalat 1-0 Paris.

At one point I was standing on a rock and the rainbow arched round at both ends and finished at my feet. I completed the rainbow. I was momentarily a leprechaun. I bet Paris doesn't have rainbows like that. Dalat 2-0 Paris. 2 goal cushion is never safe though.

This is the Crazy House Hostel, without question the craziest house I've ever seen. It's just against every Health and Safety regulation known to man. I bet Paris doesn't have a Crazy House like this. Dalat 3-0 Paris. Game over.